I’ve been searching for her everywhere: in the villages, in the cities, the forests and the mountains. I turned stones and stumps over only to find swarming maggots underneath. Even the sky, clear or filled with clouds, rain and thunder couldn’t give me the answers I was looking for. I tried music too, and it almost worked. Almost, because for a moment, it softened my inner pain, but then this feeling got sucked up the black hole I am. Years passing by, my crave for it was only worsening day after day , deceit after deceit.
Frankly, I barely know how I can manage to sustain this emptiness and unrest that I’m feeling. And don’t even get me started with people. Most of them are just plain copies of some archetype, obeying rules and codes they aren’t even aware of. I’m probably one of them too, the doomed poet wannabe with a twist of misanthropy and empathy at the same time.
Anyway, I still don’t know how I could find her out there in this sickening world filled with hatred and inhumanity. Sometimes I just want to let it go but somehow I feel that would be my gravestone so I want to keep trying. Maybe my obstinacy is the very reason why I can’t find her: Peace…